16:30 22 Sep
And that’s stumps
With CtC out we will draw our coverage to a close now.
Thanks for joining us - we’ll be back next week for CtC’s fixture against London Fields.
See you then!
15:59 22 Sep
CtCCCC crash out… they fail to chase the runs by some margin… hope of winning the tournament have evaporated and they have only won a single match. What a shambles.
“Hard luck chaps”
Cass, via WhatsApp
15:36 22 Sep
Wickets!
4-2 this is not the start they wanted… Hammond and Fairbank both go early. Davidson and Gimson need to rebuild
15:32 22 Sep
CtC still needing another wicket… and again the ball goes high into the legside, Rupert is underneath it, a much harder chance than Dean’s… but he takes it… that’s three wickets in the last over and Beausoleile finish 48-6. If CtC chase these they’ll be in the final
15:31 22 Sep
Hat trick chance!
Could this be CtC’s first ever hattrick, Davo bangs it in, and yes! The beausoleil batsmen falls into the trap and spoons it to Dean at short midwicket… who drops it! Oh no…
15:29 22 Sep
CtC getting desperate here. Davo to bowl the final over and they need wickets… this is an extraordinary field… every man is ‘catching’, but not in a slip cordon, every single fielder is over to the leg side to try and take a catch. And it’s working, that’s two in two from Davo! Hat trick ball!
15:25 22 Sep Match Three vs. Beausoleil
CtC bowl first and are on the hunt for wickets. Rupert and Dean manage to grab a couple between them but going into the last over the oppo are only three down. The big show to bowl it…
14:44 - 22 Sep
It’s complicated…
Dean is crunching the numbers as it looks like it could be a three way tie group B… in such event it comes on to the most number of wickets taken and CtC have an advantage of 2 going into the final round of matches. What does this mean? Basically if CtC can bowl out the oppo and win, they are guaranteed a place in the final...
14:00 22 Sep
And that’s lunch
The team slope off to the pavilion and tuck into a round of baguettes and filling. Hammo has an accident with egg Sandwich and complains it is somewhat “sloppy”. The tea lady is offended and Hannah Dillon has to wedge into some serious diplomacy. This is vintage Hammo.
13:44 22 Sep
Cloggers! Hammo and Davo just can’t get it off the square. 22-0 from 2… they need a big over here, but the lads just can’t connect and that’s just three from the third over 25-0 from three. It’s game over
13:31 22 Sep
Change of innings… Entrecasteaux 77-1 from their 6. Davidson earns promotion to open alongside Hammo. CtC will surely need the ginger genius to fire here.
13:24 22 Sep
CtC working hard here to keep the hosts at bay, but they’ve got to get through an over from Dean, and oh dear, this isn’t going well. He’s in the river! And again! This isn’t pretty, and that’s 25 from the over...
13:03 22 Sep
HOWZAT?!?
Davidson hits opposition big show Brad bang in front and launches into a huge appeal… not out. Davo cannot believe it, he’s halfway down the track double tea-potting the umpire.
13:00 22 Sep - Match Two vs. Entrecasteaux B
Entrecasteaux won their first match too and this looks to be a crucial match not just in group B, but for the whole tournament. Dean wins the toss and asks Entrecasteaux to have a bat on the main pitch.
12:03 22 Sep
And that’s not lunch
And that’s lunch… Gimmers calls for an early lunch… but wait he’s gone early and gets shouted down. That is not, lunch.
“I’d be having my second lunch by now, I stand with Gimmers”
Cass, via Text
11:59 22 Sep
Win for CtC - that’s a crushing victory for the cricketing cyclists. Beer and Bacon fail to hit a boundary all innings and can only manage 27-3 from their six overs. Two wickets for Dean and strong bowling all round.
11:30 22 Sep
Innings over at 79-1 - what a partnership from Gimson and Davidson. This looks a good score on a tough pitch.
11:25 22 Sep
6! It’s reigning sixes as Gimson finds the fences!
11:00 22 Sep - Match One vs. Beer & Bacon
Golden Duck!
CtC are stuck in on the notoriously tricky football pitch wicket… and Hammo goes first ball! It simply doesn’t bounce. Davidson joins Gimson at the wicket and they start to rebuild.
10:45 22 Sep
It’s always great to get your texts from around the world
“Following the game form a Calvin Harris gig in Las Vegas. Come on CtC!”
Cass, via text
“Thanks, Cass”
Hugh, via text
10:30 22 Sep
The Draw
The local blazers introduce the tournament and start pulling names from the hat… and CtC are drawn in pool B against the hosts Entrecasteaux, Beausoleil and the intriguingly named Beer and Bacon
“Good luck, chaps”
Cass, via Text
09:45 22 Sep
Rupert and Hannah arrive. First time CtC have had a dedicated supporter on tour, great to see.
08:30 22 Sep
And that is breakfast...
The team arrive into the centre of Entrecasteaux and wedge into a cafe. It’s a round of pastries, cafe au lait and petit biere to kick off the day. Charming!
07:30 22 Sep
Morning everyone and welcome to day two of CtCCCC’s tour of Provence, and it’s no surprise who is first up here, Simon is off to the pool for a couple of lengths. Rudders is keeping an eye, but he’s not committing.
00:07 22 Sep
That’s all for tonight folks, the team are wedged in to the accommodation getting stuck into some beers and oven pizza, in his sometime cousin’s absence it looks like Davo is stepping up to Chef duties. I’ll be back in the morning as the cycling cricketers begin their attempt at capturing the Belvin Franks Entrecasteaux Sevens trophy. Catch you then.
23:45 21 Sep
Fisticuffs!
Drama as the bus pulls at last onto the correct road for the airbnb, the host is out on the street, and he’s dragging a boy from the car, wait what’s this? It’s the same lad the boys were asking directions from outside the bar about an hour ago, and he’s got behind the wheel absolutely leathered! The airbnb host drags him from the car and shoves him to the floor, but the young lads parent arrives just as it looks like it might turn nasty. What a strange sequence of events. Could this be an omen for tomorrow?
“Absolute scenes! LOL”
Cass, via Text
23:41
Team bus arrives back in Entrecasteaux
23:35
Team bus does five point turn in road
23:22
Team bus leaves Entrecasteaux
23:20
Team bus arrives back in Entrecasteaux
23:07
Team bus departs Entrecasteaux
23:00 21 Sep
The team arrive in Entrecasteaux… but what’s this? It looks like they don’t know where they’re going? You’d have to say that’s shoddy admin from Dean. They start off asking some drunken youths coming out of the town’s only bar, before seemingly driving up and down the surrounding roads without much of a plan. I’II bet tempers are getting frayed in that van now...
21:03 21 Sep
Hammo finally catches up with the group and they’re off to Entrecasteaux. Probably not much to report on for a while so I’ll nip out and get a brew.
20:40 21 Sep
Dean and Davidson finally complete supermarket trip and return to airport with 7 pizza, four bags of crisps, 40 fags, 150 beers, 1 rose, 2 beaujolais and 12 madeleines
“What more do we need?”
Nat, via WhatsApp
20:34 21 Sep
Wheels down (ii)
Hammo finally touches down
“The lunchbox has landed”
Nat, via WhatsApp
20:00 21 Sep
Supermarket closes
19:59 21 Sep
Dean and Davidson arrive at supermarket.
19:58 21 Sep
Dean finishes reverse park.
19:45 21 Sep
Dean begins reverse park outside small supermarket.
19:17 21 Sep
Dean and Davidson drive off in their new wheels, whilst Gimson leads the charge to the bar with the rest. Hammo is in air.
19:01 21 Sep
Dean and Davidson get to the car rental desk and formulate a plan. No surprise here, Dean is calling a supermarket run.
“We will do supermarche run now”
Dean, via WhatsApp
18:45 21 Sep
Tour baggo Fairbank leaves Dean’s suitcase on the carousel. Disapointing from a man who only six months ago was tour judge.
18:43 21 Sep
Wheels down
Wave one land to news of their star batsmen being only an hour and half behind them. Happy days. Dean is straight into admin mode regardless. He leaves the bags on the carousel and charges straight to car rental.
“Feel like Conway could make a great accountant!! LOL!”
Cass, via Text
5.33 21 Sep
Flight booked!
Hammo is turned down from the 17:50 to Marseille, but he manages to get a flight at 18:25 to Nice. That’s a great result for the ginger genius.
“On the 18:25 lads, see you later, and we’re on the plane”
Will, via WhatsApp
4.45 21 Sep
On the ‘plane!
So six lads make the ‘plane and they’re looking forward to a round of over-priced Heineken’s on route to Nice. Hammo is however stuck the wrong side of security and engaged in negotiations with Easyjet about a later flight.
4.33 21 Sep
Flight Missed!
It’s all over for Hammo, he reaches security but, like so many times at when at Ballare with the wrong shoes on, he’s turned away
“Dream is over”
Will, via WhatsApp
And that’s stumps
With CtC out we will draw our coverage to a close now.
Thanks for joining us - we’ll be back next week for CtC’s fixture against London Fields.
See you then!
15:59 22 Sep
CtCCCC crash out… they fail to chase the runs by some margin… hope of winning the tournament have evaporated and they have only won a single match. What a shambles.
“Hard luck chaps”
Cass, via WhatsApp
15:36 22 Sep
Wickets!
4-2 this is not the start they wanted… Hammond and Fairbank both go early. Davidson and Gimson need to rebuild
15:32 22 Sep
CtC still needing another wicket… and again the ball goes high into the legside, Rupert is underneath it, a much harder chance than Dean’s… but he takes it… that’s three wickets in the last over and Beausoleile finish 48-6. If CtC chase these they’ll be in the final
15:31 22 Sep
Hat trick chance!
Could this be CtC’s first ever hattrick, Davo bangs it in, and yes! The beausoleil batsmen falls into the trap and spoons it to Dean at short midwicket… who drops it! Oh no…
15:29 22 Sep
CtC getting desperate here. Davo to bowl the final over and they need wickets… this is an extraordinary field… every man is ‘catching’, but not in a slip cordon, every single fielder is over to the leg side to try and take a catch. And it’s working, that’s two in two from Davo! Hat trick ball!
15:25 22 Sep Match Three vs. Beausoleil
CtC bowl first and are on the hunt for wickets. Rupert and Dean manage to grab a couple between them but going into the last over the oppo are only three down. The big show to bowl it…
14:44 - 22 Sep
It’s complicated…
Dean is crunching the numbers as it looks like it could be a three way tie group B… in such event it comes on to the most number of wickets taken and CtC have an advantage of 2 going into the final round of matches. What does this mean? Basically if CtC can bowl out the oppo and win, they are guaranteed a place in the final...
14:00 22 Sep
And that’s lunch
The team slope off to the pavilion and tuck into a round of baguettes and filling. Hammo has an accident with egg Sandwich and complains it is somewhat “sloppy”. The tea lady is offended and Hannah Dillon has to wedge into some serious diplomacy. This is vintage Hammo.
13:44 22 Sep
Cloggers! Hammo and Davo just can’t get it off the square. 22-0 from 2… they need a big over here, but the lads just can’t connect and that’s just three from the third over 25-0 from three. It’s game over
13:31 22 Sep
Change of innings… Entrecasteaux 77-1 from their 6. Davidson earns promotion to open alongside Hammo. CtC will surely need the ginger genius to fire here.
13:24 22 Sep
CtC working hard here to keep the hosts at bay, but they’ve got to get through an over from Dean, and oh dear, this isn’t going well. He’s in the river! And again! This isn’t pretty, and that’s 25 from the over...
13:03 22 Sep
HOWZAT?!?
Davidson hits opposition big show Brad bang in front and launches into a huge appeal… not out. Davo cannot believe it, he’s halfway down the track double tea-potting the umpire.
13:00 22 Sep - Match Two vs. Entrecasteaux B
Entrecasteaux won their first match too and this looks to be a crucial match not just in group B, but for the whole tournament. Dean wins the toss and asks Entrecasteaux to have a bat on the main pitch.
12:03 22 Sep
And that’s not lunch
And that’s lunch… Gimmers calls for an early lunch… but wait he’s gone early and gets shouted down. That is not, lunch.
“I’d be having my second lunch by now, I stand with Gimmers”
Cass, via Text
11:59 22 Sep
Win for CtC - that’s a crushing victory for the cricketing cyclists. Beer and Bacon fail to hit a boundary all innings and can only manage 27-3 from their six overs. Two wickets for Dean and strong bowling all round.
11:30 22 Sep
Innings over at 79-1 - what a partnership from Gimson and Davidson. This looks a good score on a tough pitch.
11:25 22 Sep
6! It’s reigning sixes as Gimson finds the fences!
11:00 22 Sep - Match One vs. Beer & Bacon
Golden Duck!
CtC are stuck in on the notoriously tricky football pitch wicket… and Hammo goes first ball! It simply doesn’t bounce. Davidson joins Gimson at the wicket and they start to rebuild.
10:45 22 Sep
It’s always great to get your texts from around the world
“Following the game form a Calvin Harris gig in Las Vegas. Come on CtC!”
Cass, via text
“Thanks, Cass”
Hugh, via text
10:30 22 Sep
The Draw
The local blazers introduce the tournament and start pulling names from the hat… and CtC are drawn in pool B against the hosts Entrecasteaux, Beausoleil and the intriguingly named Beer and Bacon
“Good luck, chaps”
Cass, via Text
09:45 22 Sep
Rupert and Hannah arrive. First time CtC have had a dedicated supporter on tour, great to see.
08:30 22 Sep
And that is breakfast...
The team arrive into the centre of Entrecasteaux and wedge into a cafe. It’s a round of pastries, cafe au lait and petit biere to kick off the day. Charming!
07:30 22 Sep
Morning everyone and welcome to day two of CtCCCC’s tour of Provence, and it’s no surprise who is first up here, Simon is off to the pool for a couple of lengths. Rudders is keeping an eye, but he’s not committing.
00:07 22 Sep
That’s all for tonight folks, the team are wedged in to the accommodation getting stuck into some beers and oven pizza, in his sometime cousin’s absence it looks like Davo is stepping up to Chef duties. I’ll be back in the morning as the cycling cricketers begin their attempt at capturing the Belvin Franks Entrecasteaux Sevens trophy. Catch you then.
23:45 21 Sep
Fisticuffs!
Drama as the bus pulls at last onto the correct road for the airbnb, the host is out on the street, and he’s dragging a boy from the car, wait what’s this? It’s the same lad the boys were asking directions from outside the bar about an hour ago, and he’s got behind the wheel absolutely leathered! The airbnb host drags him from the car and shoves him to the floor, but the young lads parent arrives just as it looks like it might turn nasty. What a strange sequence of events. Could this be an omen for tomorrow?
“Absolute scenes! LOL”
Cass, via Text
23:41
Team bus arrives back in Entrecasteaux
23:35
Team bus does five point turn in road
23:22
Team bus leaves Entrecasteaux
23:20
Team bus arrives back in Entrecasteaux
23:07
Team bus departs Entrecasteaux
23:00 21 Sep
The team arrive in Entrecasteaux… but what’s this? It looks like they don’t know where they’re going? You’d have to say that’s shoddy admin from Dean. They start off asking some drunken youths coming out of the town’s only bar, before seemingly driving up and down the surrounding roads without much of a plan. I’II bet tempers are getting frayed in that van now...
21:03 21 Sep
Hammo finally catches up with the group and they’re off to Entrecasteaux. Probably not much to report on for a while so I’ll nip out and get a brew.
20:40 21 Sep
Dean and Davidson finally complete supermarket trip and return to airport with 7 pizza, four bags of crisps, 40 fags, 150 beers, 1 rose, 2 beaujolais and 12 madeleines
“What more do we need?”
Nat, via WhatsApp
20:34 21 Sep
Wheels down (ii)
Hammo finally touches down
“The lunchbox has landed”
Nat, via WhatsApp
20:00 21 Sep
Supermarket closes
19:59 21 Sep
Dean and Davidson arrive at supermarket.
19:58 21 Sep
Dean finishes reverse park.
19:45 21 Sep
Dean begins reverse park outside small supermarket.
19:17 21 Sep
Dean and Davidson drive off in their new wheels, whilst Gimson leads the charge to the bar with the rest. Hammo is in air.
19:01 21 Sep
Dean and Davidson get to the car rental desk and formulate a plan. No surprise here, Dean is calling a supermarket run.
“We will do supermarche run now”
Dean, via WhatsApp
18:45 21 Sep
Tour baggo Fairbank leaves Dean’s suitcase on the carousel. Disapointing from a man who only six months ago was tour judge.
18:43 21 Sep
Wheels down
Wave one land to news of their star batsmen being only an hour and half behind them. Happy days. Dean is straight into admin mode regardless. He leaves the bags on the carousel and charges straight to car rental.
“Feel like Conway could make a great accountant!! LOL!”
Cass, via Text
5.33 21 Sep
Flight booked!
Hammo is turned down from the 17:50 to Marseille, but he manages to get a flight at 18:25 to Nice. That’s a great result for the ginger genius.
“On the 18:25 lads, see you later, and we’re on the plane”
Will, via WhatsApp
4.45 21 Sep
On the ‘plane!
So six lads make the ‘plane and they’re looking forward to a round of over-priced Heineken’s on route to Nice. Hammo is however stuck the wrong side of security and engaged in negotiations with Easyjet about a later flight.
4.33 21 Sep
Flight Missed!
It’s all over for Hammo, he reaches security but, like so many times at when at Ballare with the wrong shoes on, he’s turned away
“Dream is over”
Will, via WhatsApp
4:27 21 Sep
Six tourists at the gate, but still no sign of Hammond. Davidson is getting agitated.
“Barge Hammo, Barge”
Rory, via WhatsApp
16:18 21 Sep
Desperate times call for desperate measures for Hammo
“Sheen get your cock out, make a scene”
William, via WhasApp
16:15 21 Sep
Unbelievable scenes. Shaw and Rudkin cruise through duty free.
“It’s cigars out for me and Rudders here”
Simon, Via WhatsApp
16:06 21 Sep
All too easy for Gimmers, he’s ordering a pint from Fairbank.
“Where’s the ducking boozer?”
Nat, via WhatsApp
15:57 21 Sep
Shaw and Hamo are flying, they have flown past Hammo and should be at the airport in 10. Suddenly they’re odds on to make this flight.
“The market is piling in”
Henry, via WhatsApp
15:56 21 Sep
Gimson is in, he pulls up at the south terminal.
15:52 21 Sep
Dean and Davidson order a plate of cheese and biccies from the BA first lounge. Though their smugness is momentarily broken as they start to worry if the Director of Cricket’s knee injury will survive the forthcoming weaving required to dash through security.
“Rudders, can you run / weave?”
Davo, via WhatsApp
15:51 21 Sep
Dean and Davidson are now wedged into the BA first class lounge in Heathrow plotting alternative methods of getting the team on tour. Davidson’s PJ seems to be busy, so it’s the 17:50 Easyjet flight to Marseille that becomes plan B.
“Can see Dorgan as a stage hand in a 1950s theatre”
Pearso, via Text
15:46 21 Sep
It’s all going on here. Hammo is now closer to Gatwick than Shaw and Rudkin, but surely his Uber will get overtaken now their train is on the charge. This is like an episode of Top Gear meets Border Force.
“Pulling away from you here”
Will, via WhatsApp
15:32 21 Sep
Rudkin and Shaw decide to stick with the train, unsurprisingly Rudders is feeling gloomy.
“I’d put us at 6-1”
Henry, via WhatsApp
15:34 21 Sep
Gimson having to go via north terminal, but he’s comfortable
“Can really see Rory as slightly camp and over-bearing butler in a 19th century manner house, a young Rutty would be a good assistant on a traditional market stall”
Hugh, via text
15:32 21 Sep
Rudkin and Shaw now on the move but still North of East Croydon, do they stay on the train or are they going to sit it out on the train. Could be a big call to make.
15:29 21 Sep
Gimson’s train (makes me think, anyone else think Nat could make a good train driver? Any other jobs for the CtC lads text in on 660444) has found a station and so he wedges into an Uber alongside some randoms. He should be fine. Rudkin and Shaw disconcertingly quiet.
15:23 21 Sep
Things looking increasingly desperate here. Rudkin is in disconsolate mood.
“Increasingly looking like stumps here”
Henry, via WhatsApp
15:15 21 Sep
Hammo off the train but he’s struggling to get an Uber and he’s around an hour from Gatwick. Looks a long shot for him.
15:00 21 Sep
Rogue. Drives’ in Gimmers train slams it into reverse and heads back towards London, looks like they are targeting a Redhill disembark.
14:59 21 Sep
An hour and 45 minutes until take off and still no movement on the trains. Things getting tense now. Dean is on manoeuvres, checking out of the Regus Express and marching purposefully through security.
14:51 21 Sep
Oh no, looks like all three trains on the line are at a standstill. The boys are powerless. Will CtC be forced to travel with just three players? Still two hours until scheduled take-off (14:45) but this isn’t ideal.
14:47 21 Sep
Travel Chaos!
What’s this then? Unbelievable scenes… reports of a major incident on the line and all three trains carrying CtC team members come to a standstill.
“Could be stumps for Simon and I”
Henry, via WhatsApp
14:32 21 Sep
Hammond is now on a train
14:07 21 Sep
Right finally things are moving. Davidson it turns out has snuck into the airport via the VIP entrance and is leading a conference call from the BA gold club lounge. Gimson is first of the remainder on the train down to Gatwick, with Shaw and Rudkin not far behind. Hammond left home at 13.45, cutting it slightly fine perhaps, but he should be okay too.
14:00 21 Sep
Right, welcome back to the live text coverage of CtC’s tour to Provence. I’m Matt Williams and I’ll be here to take you through the afternoon coverage. I’ve just been out for my lunch (Boots meal deal, if you’re asking – prawn mayo sandwich, orange juice and some salt and vinegar crisps). Still not much happening here, but expect things to pick up after lunch.
11:37 21 Sep
Still nothing to see here. I’m going to take a break and I’ll catch you all back here later.
11:15 21 Sep
Not much going on here. Dean and Fairbank make use of the excellent facilities at the Regus Express, enjoying the complimentary Nespresso and fruit. They inspect the showers (a bargain at just £15 extra) but decide against them, and simply sit back and enjoy being at the heart of the workspace revolution.
10:43 21 Sep
Finally, some movement. Fairbank and Dean meet at Gatwick and wedge into the Regus at Gatwick south. This is of course the very same Regus immortalized in “Nomad” by Alan Partridge
“Regus life is the very definition of ‘business cool’, and I imagine it’ must be like working in Dubai. Obviously, there are less sexy elements – an office next door to mine was occupied by a newly qualified chiropodist so the entre corridor stank of feet – and if you choose to terminate your office rental, Regus will hammer you on the small print, but the obvious solution is to never leave. You’d be a fool to anyway”
No, it’s a great business and I’ve been looking forward to visiting the Gatwick Regus Express for some time”
Nomad, Alan Partridge
10:35 21 Sep
Rubin Pingk has been at it again, providing a few words of support for the boys
“In the thick of promoting a book, crafting stories, making art and raising two boys, I turn a lot of things down. However, I could not forfeit an opportunity to wish my favourite cricket team in all the Earth a happy trip. I hope you enjoy your game in that glade midst wooded hills. Safe travels, Lightening Lords. Good Luck!”
Rubin Pingk, via email
10:30 21 Sep
Morning everyone and welcome to the rolling coverage of CtCCCC’s tour to Entrecasteaux. It’s the second tour of the year…